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Welcome to Plant Phreak

A place for plant lovers with soiled minds

Welcome to our wild and weedy, but neat, sliver of the internet. A dirty place where plant humor takes a walk on the grownup side! If you’re a chlorophyll connoisseur with a penchant for laughter, you’ve just struck green. Prepare to embark on a foliage-filled journey that’s as hilarious as it is botanically bewildering. From saucy succulents to sassy shrubs, we’re branching out into uncharted territory. So, grab your favorite potted companion or seeds and leaf your worries behind. Join us in unearthing the side of plants that’ll make you soil your garden garments.

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Why phreak about plants?

Dating back millions of years, plants are not only responsible for our existence, but they are also imperative to our survival. It’s the reason your flower feels good with an eggplant in it. In fact, we need plants, they don’t need us. Tonight, when you use your rose, remember that’s a flower from a plant.

Us, our food, tobacco, clothes, medicine, household supplies, cosmetics, dyes, fuel, wine, alcohol, cannabis, building materials and much more; all depend on plants for not only existing but for sustainability as well. You can’t get high, drunk, dressed, home or far without plants.

Plants are the foundation of our world. We can’t breathe without them. Meaning losing plants, would take our literally breath away. Romantic right? Cotton, which makes up the fabrics you wear and sleep on, comes from a plant. So, plants cover your ass. Every medication you ever took, was a derivative or copy of a medicinal property from a plant natives used. Thus, plants save your life. Cows, for meat and milk require plants to eat in order to produce its commodities, making it food for your food.

You don’t have to be vegan or a tree-hugger to understand how imperative plants are to our world. Everyone has a lil phreak in them and everyone needs plants. Which means you’re a Plant Phreak whether you like it or not.

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How do you make a tree laugh?

Tell it acorny joke.

Articles dirtier than your compost pile…

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Men in Horticulture

In recent years, there has been a noticeable surge in the number of men embracing horticulture. Let’s look at why.

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Plant-inspired names

Plants have influenced human culture for millennia as inspiration for names of people, places, and things.

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Most common houseplants

The Ultimate Guide to Common Houseplants: Benefits and Care Tips for everyone to manage their plants.

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Plants & Sex

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“We see you, you root-loving renegade!

Grab your composted sense of humor, plant yourself firmly, and let’s sprout some knowledge while sharing a hearty chuckle or two. Get ready to cultivate your curiosity and let your inner plant enthusiast bloom like never before – because in this garden of gaiety, the petals are plucked, and the puns are positively perennial!”

plant phreak photo by plantphreak.com
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Plant Phreak Tee

A Dope Tee that not only doubles as a fashion statement but it also is a contribution to our awesome community. A phreakish percent of the monies we make goes to help kids and families everywhere.

plant phreak photo by plantphreak.com

Grow (almost) anything anywhere.

From the seductive secrets of pollination to the scandalous lives of succulents, we’re peeling back the petals and laying bare the juiciest plant stories. So, grab a seat, light up your sense of humor like a grow light, and let’s get ready to roll with some botanically badass fun.

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Join our journey

Every day we plant new house plants, herbs, vegetables, and more. Join us as we track their growth and document the progress. Feel free to share your progress with us too. We’d love to see it.

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I be-leaf in you

plant phreak photo by plantphreak.com

Read My Blog

Greetings, esteemed aficionados of the botanical realm. It is with great enthusiasm that I welcome you to a digital domain where the symbiotic interplay of humor and botanical erudition takes center stage. Within this virtual conservatory, we are poised to embark on an intellectual odyssey that melds the rigors of plant science with the levity of well-crafted humor.

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Recent Posts

  • Common Houseplants

    Common Houseplants

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    PlantIt Jae

    The Ultimate Guide to Common Houseplants: Benefits and Care Tips Houseplants have become a staple of modern living spaces, bringing a touch of nature indoors while offering a range of benefits. From purifying the air to boosting mood, these green companions are more than just decorative pieces. Here’s a look…

  • Plant inspired names

    Plant inspired names

    •

    PlantIt Jae

    Inspired by Nature: Names Rooted in Plants, Fruits, Herbs, and Trees Plant inspired names have influenced human culture for millennia, serving not only as sustenance and medicine but also as inspiration for names of people, places, and things. From ancient civilizations to modern times, the natural world has shaped the…

  • Men In Horticulture

    Men In Horticulture

    •

    PlantIt Jae

    The Growing Trend of Men in Horticulture: Redefining Green Spaces In recent years, there has been a noticeable surge in the number of men embracing horticulture as a hobby, career, and lifestyle. Traditionally associated with older generations or perceived as a leisurely pastime, gardening is now being redefined by men…